Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan.

Synopsis

A Good Morning America Book Buzz Pick!
Their love was supposed to last forever. But when life delivered blow after devastating blow, Yasmen and Josiah Wade found that love alone couldn’t solve or save everything.

It couldn’t save their marriage.

Yasmen wasn’t prepared for how her life fell apart, but she’s is finally starting to find joy again. She and Josiah have found a new rhythm, co-parenting their two kids and running a thriving business together. Yet like magnets, they’re always drawn back to each other, and now they’re beginning to wonder if they’re truly ready to let go of everything they once had.

Soon, one stolen kiss leads to another…and then more. It’s hot. It’s illicit. It’s all good—until old wounds reopen. Is it too late for them to find forever? Or could they even be better, the second time around?

Award-winning and bestselling “powerhouse” author Kennedy Ryan is at her absolute best in this compelling, scorching novel about hope and healing, and what it truly means to love for a lifetime

Review

5 gorgeous and raw stars!

Prepare to get some quote in that review because Kennedy’s writing was amazing!

This is a book that will make you feel raw and exposed especially if you have gone through some hard times in your life.

When I began Before I Let Go, on the very first page “The Beginning” I was immediately hooked and took my pen to highlight in the book.  Sorry but when I read:

“I wondered if this-finding someone you can laugh with when everything hurts-was the stuff happily ever after were made of. Not the sugarcoated kisses and hot-air balloon rides and romantic walks under a full moon”

I just wrote : SO BEAUTIFUL!

Well that’s Kennedy Ryan for you in that book.

Yasmen and Josiah’s story began in squalor, as students with big dreams. They didn’t have much but they were happy, ambitious and certain that they were forever.

Years later, tragedy stroked so hard that Yasmen fell into deep depression and complicated grief. The thing is, when you fight every day to go out of bed, when you put all your energy into finding yourself and saving yourself, you have nothing left anymore for your marriage. Especially if you have kids that you have to take care of while you have zero energy. You are just drained. An empty vessel.

“People talk about the stages of grief, but there is a stage of depression-at least for me-where you go  from feeling pain so acutely you can’t bear it, to feeling nothing at all. A blessed numbness after debilitating sadness.”

And under the dark cloud of depression, that darker version of yourself takes some decisions that you might come to regret later, once the days are brighter. Like divorcing your husband.

“But even in that new loneliness, there was a kind of relief to have only one thing to save. Not my marriage, but just myself.”

That’s what happened to Yasmen and Josiah.

Now, two years after their divorce, while they are still partners in their business and parenting together, Yasmen is finally back to her former self. With a bigger wisdom and more empathy for her feelings.

“At that time, joy didn’t stand a chance, but tonight I feel everything. And it’s finally good.”

Before I Let Go is Yasmen and Josiah’s story when they survived what happened to them, broken and bruised and while they will realize that their attraction is still alive, that their feelings are not dead. But Josiah has been so hurt that there is no question of trustin Yasmen with his feelings again. Or…is there?

That story was raw, sad and hopeful.

I also resonated deeply with Yasmen being hurt by her teenage daughter Deja.

“When was the last time Deja smiled at me that way? Tried to spend any time with me?” This reminded me of my own experience when my daughter was a teenager and that was…brutal!

“I thought we were having a moment. Anytime real connection seems within grasp for us, I say something, do something -I never know what-to ruin it”

How I hurt for Yasmen!

When Yasmen recounted what happened all these years ago, I swear I was crying like a baby.

“My body, which for eight months had been the source of life for my baby, had become a tomb.”

Of course Yasmen would feel guilty and play the “what if “ game!

“Should I have called the ambulance instead of driving myself to the hospital? If I could have… if I had ever…”

As you can see, there is a lot of emotions in that story. Many sad as the characters are grieving. But it’s also an absolutely gorgeous book because the love the characters have for each other is the story of legend. And because Kennedy has a magnificent prose that captures all the nuances of complicated grief and sever depression to tell Josiah and Yasmen’s journey.

There is also a lot of triggers in that story so look for them if you don’t feel comfortable.

Thanks for reading!

Sophie