Synopsis

Briggs,Remember when we parted ways in Germany? It was the day I broke your heart. What you didn’t know was that I was breaking mine too.

I thought they’d be enough–my husband and my son. That I’d get home and everything would go back to the way it was . . .

Before the war.
Before the ambush.
Before you.

But, no matter how hard I try, I can’t erase the trauma we shared. I can’t seem to forget the way my heart beat in time with yours.

The truth is I’m lost without you.

I thought the nightmare was over when they pulled us from that hole in the ground, but nothing could have prepared me for the war I’d face at home.
I know it’s selfish of me to ask, but, please, I have to see you one last time. . .

All my love,
Scottie

Review

 5 “I hate you both Heather and Kate because I am a mess” stars

This. This is why I hate love triangle.  

I was a sobbing mess all the time.

This was an epic tug-of war on our hearts!

Till the last chapter I never knew who would “win” if you can call it win when one is destroyed and I never knew who I wanted to “win”!!!! Usually in love triangles I have a favorite and I just want to smash the girl and tell her to “make her mind!” but here, nope!

I did not know who I wanted her to end with….

This book is also so much more than a love triangle but let’s begin with it and with the characters.

On the one hand you have Briggs.

Briggs is the one Scottie/Katy will meet on her mission abroad. He is single, a flirt and very handsome. Briggs/Chris is also very cocky but that’s his way to deal with life.

“Infantry?” Adrenaline junkie. “I like to be the first pretty face those ugly bastards see.” The way his entire face lights up with his smile tells me that he genuinely loves what he does, and I have to respect him for that. Maybe I judged him too soon.”

“ I can’t help but smile. He’s the perfect picture of an American soldier: strong, virile, and confident, with a healthy dose of cocky.

But there is more than cockiness. He is the one easing the others in a situation in cracking up jokes. He is the one lighting up a room and drawing everyone around like moths to a flame.

Under the easy-going attitude and flirt is someone who genuinely care.

Someone strong who’s found a purpose in his existence in defending his country.

Someone deeply respectful despite the flirt.

Someone who does not want to jeopardize Katy’s marriage even if it hurts.

Someone who knows she is taken, not his. Not in this life.

On the other hand you have Gavin.

Katy’s handsome Captain of a husband. The father of her son. A loving husband and doting father. Smart, strong and beautiful. Deeply devoted to his family.

He is madly in love with his wife and when he learned what happened he did not live anymore till the moment she set foot on American soil again.

He is careful around her as he knows she’s lived something deeply traumatic.

You could not want for a more perfect husband and I loved him so much.

In the middle you have Scottie/Katy.

Devoted wife and mother. Army brat. Beautiful and courageous. Deeply loyal.

But when she came back from war, she was not the same woman who had left. She could not bring her old self back to give to her husband. She fought every day to survive, to overcome what’s been done to her but she felt adrift.

My heart was torn between these as I wanted every one of them to find his happiness.

I told you this book was so much more than a love triangle.

It deals with heavy and serious topics. PTSD because what Briggs and Scottie went through was torture in its literal meaning. The authors did not barre holds. The scenes are horrific, the choices that were forced upon them inhuman. Yet this is not overdone. It’s something really happening there. Something we’ve seen on the news or read about in the newspapers.

Kudos for Heather and Kate to go through it all without flinching. Well maybe the flinched a lot but they wrote it without embellishment. They give the harsh reality and I can’t imagine how difficult and painful it must have been for them to write some scenes.

You can’t erase the past. It’s been horrendous what Briggs and Scottie have been through.

Gavin wants to help his wife but the aftermaths of such trauma are huge. He feels powerless and it hurt witnessing all this. I hurt for Gavin because he tried the best he could. I hurt for Scottie/Katy because she was lost and did not know how to open up or what she wanted.

“You won’t talk to me, you won’t let me in, you don’t want my help, and now I can’t touch you?”

Katy felt so bad to hurt Gavin. To disappoint everyone.

“He’s losing his patience, and I came home without any. I’m the problem, and that’s the hardest part. Our marriage was completely different before I was deployed. Army spouses deserve fucking medals.”

I hurt for Briggs because he was also lost even if he seemed to deal better with what happened.

To make it short: I hurt for everyone! All the time! Because what happened to Katy impacted everyone around her. It was a huge painful mess. And I was utterly exhausted by the end of the book.

I hate love triangle because I consider them unnecessary drama but that’s the problem here: none of this drama was unnecessary. Scottie/Katy was not some undecided teenager who does not know which to fall for: the jock or the sexy nerd. No. She wanted to make her husband happy. She wanted to go back to her old self. Yet she could not forget how Briggs made her feel safe. She did not recognize up from down, she did not know what she wanted or what she needed.

And honestly I could never fault any of them.

So Heather and Kate realized the unthinkable: make me love a story about love triangle and filled to the brim with angst and pain. Me who run from love triangle and can’t stand angst…

If that’s not a testimony to their talent I don’t know what is!

Now if you’d excuse me I am on my way to read a light, adventurous dystopian YA. Something lighter and fuzzier.

Do you like love triangles? And how do you feel about angst in books?

Thanks for reading!

Sophie