Hi dear friends,
Today is the day of our Top 5 Tuesday and as usual I am posting late!
Writing this at light speed and trying to make it interesting for you.
If you did not know this already Top 5 Tuesday is a weekly meme hosted by the charming Shanah @bionicbookworm *add sugary voice in the background for my selling pitch!*
This week’s topic is a dangerous one because it can result in leakage. Leakage if you read these books and your bladder is full. The risk is even more real if you gave birth to one or more kids …
You’ve got it today we are talking about “pee your pants” funny books!
Only the bests for you here 😀
My first choice is Confession of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
I recall reading the book years ago. It was summer and I was reading in my garden, under a tree. My favorite reading spot at that time of the year. I laughed so hard that the neighbor stopped cutting his trees to peek through the bushes and ask me what had me in fits of laughter!
“A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn’t fit, you can’t exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you needed. And when your fingers first grasp those shiny, new bags…”
― Confessions of a Shopaholic
“They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail.”
― Confessions of a Shopaholic
Candice is really “something else” as Ian said. She came as a airhead in the beginning, hairdresser and beauty counselor extraordinaire. All skinny jeans, flat soled boots with pom-poms, she spent more time on her behind in the freezing snow than vertical the first day she landed. She is in snowy and slippery Oregon to visit her pregnant BFF, welcomed on the Mackenzie’s ranch.
When City Girl stays on a ranch where staying vertical in cute shoes is a challenge, she has to adapt. I loved how I underestimated her. I read her as a silly and superficial girl but she is fiercely loyal, determined, combative with a heart of gold. She keeps her quirks all right (Mr Google) but she soon fires guns, help cows give birth, does U turn with ginormous trucks to drive her “giving birth” best friend to the hospital and kill mountain lions while protecting the hot brooding bad boy Ian Mackenzie.
Ian, heartsick and prick for three years now never saw her coming. They soon bicker and banter like teenagers, fighting in snow and hay. A butt naked Ian is carrying Candice on his shoulder just because she made sure his shower was cold.
Their banter is funny but what really had me in fits of laughter was all that happened to Candice. Talk about turn of events, that girl is a walking disaster or has bad karma but I could not stop shaking as I laughed so hard.
“I totally feel like an FBI agent right now, with my legs spread and my arms out straight, gripping the gun. I’ll bet my butt looks awesome.
… I squint at the target, holding the gun like I’ve seen FBI guys do it in the movies. I am so badass.”
― MacKenzie Fire
If I had a bad day, Rosie had a string of bad dates. It’s incredible the bad luck that girl could have trying to lose her virginity! Imagine Ben Stiller in” There’s Something About Mary” and you get the vibe of this book.
Rosie is living with her two best friends and has quite a crappy job, writing about cats secrets and cat poop and… She wants to write romance novels but there is this slight problem of her still being a virgin. She’s been raised sheltered by her parents and can’t even utter the “P” word to speak about the male appendage. Try using Briar Patch or Pleasure Garden and see if the readers will give you any credit as a romance novelist.
Pushed by her friends, she’ll launch herself on the date quest in the hope of finding the coital bliss and gather live experience to write her story. If the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, Rosie’s road to “post-virginity” land is paved with puke on sword, panty puffing clouds of baby powder, torn jeans airing her crotch, pervert dog licking private parts while ogling make out sessions and learning blow jobs on a banana among other things.
”After just grabbing my banana and flicking my tongue across it, I can see the aPEEL. God, I’m so funny. After my blowjob crash course, I feel like I can tackle the world, one penis at a time…hopefully.”
Suffice to say this book is like a collection of all dates turned bad. Prepare to break into hoots of laughter, cringe sometimes and cheer for Rosie and her “sex-periments”.
-looking for a hilarious Christmas Tale;
-a fan of movies like “There’s something about Mary” or “Meet the Parents”;
-a sucker for crazy families with eccentric family members;
-able to move all your meetings and chores for a few uninterrupted reading hours;Go read this “laugh-so-hard-I-don’t-have-any-remaining-smidge-of-mascara” novel!
When Sam Stocking ”As in ‘hung by the chimney with care” meets Noel Holiday on their way back home for Christmas holiday, their lives will be forever altered. Both stranded at Chicago airport, they’ll enjoy each other’s company after Noel soaked Sam’s camo pants in beer. Noel is now jobless, homeless and has fled her boyfriend to go home for the holiday but fear her mother’s reaction.
Sam agrees to help Noel with her family and pretend to be her 12months boyfriend but he’s barely crossed her family’s threshold when he is groped by a big “woman”, gripping his crotch to check his “huge package”. Meet Bobbie, Noel’s transvestite Ancle and ecstasy lover, member of this insane family. Between Noel’s father, proclaiming Sam has had “enough of his daughter’s cottage cheese” and hiding all the dairy products, Noel’s mom forcing them to kiss under the mistletoe that’s more of pot tied with a ribbon to…. well, you get the gist of it.
This crazy eccentric family had me laughing so hard I could not breathe.
“MOTHER FUCKER! HE SHOT MY BALLS!” Sam wails. “EVERYONE OUT OF MY WAY! HE NEEDS MOUTH TO BALL RESUSCITATION!” Aunt Bobbie screams, shuffling quickly to Sam’s side in her four-inch stilettos.”
― The Stocking Was Hung
“Mom, do you have pot hanging from the ceiling?”
― The Stocking Was Hung
Molly has an extended vernacular when it comes to sex. She was downright funny and provocative and I loved her very imaginative phrasing. Just to give you a small sample of Molly’s peculiar expressions: “Clamjammer?” He lifted a brow. “It’s the female equivalent to a cockblocker. You, Noah McAllister, are clamjamming me right now.”
The big lesson is plans are meant to be derailed.
One of my favorite quote (just because I can): ”Maybe I had been subconsciously waiting to find a man who would treat me the way a woman deserved to be treated…like a queen in public and a goddess in private.”
Thanks for sharing this list! I haven’t read any of these books, but they all sound pretty fun! 🙂
Oh they were fun that’s certain Raven 😉
Love your list. The titles alone are hilarious. You always do so well on these memes. ❤️
Thank you Dani!!
Confession Of A Shopaholic was a riot and would definitely be on my pee your pants laughing list. LOL Some of these others are worthy of a check them out too!
Oh yes Laura only the bests I promise LOL
Great post! I love funny books – if they can make me laugh out loud it is quite the feat! I have The Stocking Was Hung but didn’t get to it last year. I guess I should put it on my ‘holiday reads list!’ =D
Oh yes please do Daisy! I guarantee lots of fun 😉
I haven’t read any of the books on your list, but I did read The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella years ago, and it did leave me in stitches! I’m hoping to read some of her more recent stuff soon.
Thanks for sharing!
You are so welcome Angie Elle!!
I LOVE the movie Confession of a Shopaholic ( haven’t read the books though)! The movie is so cute and fun! Whatever happened to Rom Coms? I feel like they just aren’t a thing anymore, which is sad.
Well Kat some indie authors like Meghan Quinn, Jewel E Ann etc are really good at rom com 😉
It’s great when you’re able to find books that fit just right with your sense of humor and can make you laugh so much! I’m pretty sure I read Shopaholic in high school. I loved those kinds of books!
Me too Kristen!
Confessions of a Shopaholic looks like it would be a lot of fun- book and movie!
These all sound hilarious!
They are Suzanne! I swear 😉
Kinsella’s books always make me happy. She strikes the perfect balance in her books they are quirky, fun, and heartwarming – always. Quinn and Sivec are funny too. Sometimes I am not up for that level of crudeness, but when I am, it’ pretty hilarious. I read Kiss the Girl last week, and I laughed a lot. Penny Reid never fails to crack me up, and I have been laughing a whole bunch while reading the new Christina Lauren.
Yes yes Penny Reid is a master at humor too!!!
OMG! I’m laughing at some of the titles never mind your quotes and comments about each book. And The Stocking Was Hung? Are we sure what was hung? It sounds hilarious. Of course, we all know Shopaholic, very funny.
Weeeeelll about what was hung … LOL
I love a book which is able to make me laugh! Comedy and the funnies are some of my favourite things. I have watched Confessions of A Shopaholic but have yet to read it! I want to though. I actually want to read just anything by Sophie Kinsella because I’ve heard she does humor well. A book which recently had me laughing out loud was An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson 😀
My recent post: https://oliviascatastrophe.com/2018/09/august-wrap-up-2018/
I loved An Enchantment of raven! And I can’t wait for you to read Sophie Kinsella’s books Olivia 😉
I LOVE your list! I hadn’t heard of most of these and I’ve read none of them, I can’t wait to add them to my TBR pile (post bathroom break of course)!
Bwahahha yes post bathroom break LOL Thank you Leetha Rose!
Great list! I loved the Shopaholic books so much when they first came out, I should read some Sophie Kinsella again soon – her books are so funny!
Yes she has me laughing every single time!!
The Stocking Was Hung?!?!?!?! Oh sweet jesus the title alone had me laughing!!! I need more from Tara Sivec – she’s amazing!! I think it’s amazing that we finally have the same author on our list and it’s NOT fantasy or sci-fi for once! LOL
Thanks for participating – added you to the list 🙂
Yes she is amazing!